Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s still here.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What we learned from the 2025 Le Mans 24 Hours test day - The Race

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

And the sadness?

Bruins Hire Former Forward Marco Sturm As New Head Coach - NESN

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

As a NATO/Ukraine supporter, since you're so blown away and angered by Trump putting Zelensky in his place yesterday, why don't you support the Ukraine by joining the Ukrainian army? There's 200,000,000+ of you. Put your money where your mouths are.

The sadness was still there.

You are like me, then.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Vienna calling: Strauss's 'Blue Danube' waltzes into outer space - Phys.org

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s here now, writing to you.

I had run out of hope.

Why do I feel so lazy every time I get into my room?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Be who you already are.

Is Claude AI better than ChatGPT for Alexa?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Why are the democrats keep insisting that there are more than two genders?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Mario Kart World is the perfect Switch 2 launch game - The Verge

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

I was tired of fighting.

Do you regret being married to your current wife?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.